The notion of never quitting, taking no for an answer, losing at anything and “2nd place = 1st place loser” can lend to wisdom or it can ruin lives. For many of us out there, the realm of competition both in sports and the corporate arena have tested our emotional fortitude to the limits.
Why is it that especially in America the culture of pushing harder and faster time and time again has created a disconnect between serving others through humility and crushing anyone in our path towards the top. I share this not because of what i’ve heard but actually seen working in “Corp America”.
Before I move on this is not a generalization or blanket statement for every company with over 10,000 employees but it is my own experience — seeing the lives that have been reduced to rubble through incessant ego driven action towards financial success.
This article will bring to light two things:
#1: What drives perfectionism
#2: Bridging the gap between Dreams and Reality
Perfectionism at its root creates urgency that things need to be performed to a certain expectation (PERFECT) in order to achieve a goal we create or are given.
Our dreams/one love is what defines us over time. It is our guiding light, the light house on the shore that we are all attempting to reach. The difficulty with that is there’s this thing called “reality” that tends to confuse and overshadow why we started the journey in the first place.
Why we can’t let things go
It’s funny when we ask ourselves that question, if we ever do, because we rarely attribute our success and victories to letting go. When was the last time you heard of an olympic athlete or CFO say, “Just let it go!”; that sort of thoughtful jabber has traditionally been held for theatrics in movies and so on. Yet, a large part of is intriguing to the curiosity of our souls.
What does letting go do for you and I? What value does it offer to balancing out the positive and negative forces of nature which ultimately reflects our own lives?
It offers MUCH to the presence and fullness that we can create for ourselves. It doesn’t matter of you’re a C-Level officer or an aspiring artist, you taking the time to let of events and people that do not serve you any longer will be the deciding factor between you giving up and moving forward.
Perfectionism and Lenses
When it comes to being perfect we attempt to reconcile pressure from others and expectations to live up to their standards. Other times it’s our own expectations we create with-in us that expands perfectionism from a word we hear to religion.
As a former Karate competitor I know all too well the downward spiral of self-destruction perfectionism without guidance has on your mind and spirit. Every movement, strike, foot placement and breath must be perfect otherwise you do it again and again and again until it is — NO EXCUSE.
That certainly created the work ethic I have today which I attribute greatly to my personal and professional growth. The thing is, after 20 years of living my life like that I noticed that others (friends, colleagues) presented themselves differently to me.
My perfectionism got in the way of letting other people in, people very close and many who I let go for my own personal reasons.
What I wish to share with you here is that success will come to you if you’re diligent, but it’s very lonely at the top. In a world where so much hate, violence and destruction already exists I choose not to live an ego-centric perfectionist life any more.
Understand that you don’t need for anything to be perfect — that is to say perfection is in the eye (LENS) of the beholder. Your own definition of perfection is all you can truly relate with, so use it to your advantage by balancing it with self-awareness, or continue to live a ticking time bomb of emotions and anger which will do nothing for your except leave you broken and confused.
Dreams against Reality
I’m sure you’ve heard of someone tell you at one point in your life to follow your dreams, do what you love, don’t have regrets when you’re 65 as you look back on your life. Those words are what led me to where I am in my life at this moment (Feb 2017) but let’s save the story for another time.
“If you have a big enough dream you won’t have a crisis” — Jerry Wesch
I like to say if you don’t have a dream at all, start there! It’s only when you have a dream to begin with that a bigger dream begins to make sense to you. Some people dream of living on a boat the rest of their lives, others dream about starting an NPO to help refugees and others wish to amass fame and fortune.
What I invite you to consider here is that without a D.R.E.A.M (Direct Reflection Expressing A Miracle) you can choose to be okay living the life you currently have, but be very self-aware if you hate what you’re doing and complain to everyone about it. If this is you, then you have a moral obligation to your spirit and heart to change that.
You don’t need to continue to fight the battle inside you day after day not knowing if there’s any chance or hope of victory. Does that change if you have a dream?
Yes it does, but it’s not so much about immediate and drastic change that will hand serve you what you seek in 24 hours. No, in-fact life will become much harder. You now know what you need to do in order to reach your dreams and that’s where reality sits in.
Safety and security are your primary goals before anything else, that means can you pay your bills? Do you have a family to support? How about a sick mother or grandfather that will require financial support? Accidents and tragedy happen daily, what if something happens to someone you care about?
Much of how you respond to it can boil down to financial security, thus the reason why many throw their dreams on the back burner in order to work with reality.
After 10 years however, that’s when the real question seeking and mid life crisis happens. It’s after neglecting your dreams and abandoning the call to adventure that you start to think, very hard, about the remainder of your years. The finite time you have on this Earth, what you have been doing and where you want to go. All of this culminates with you deciding where your dream and reality can work in unison.
Being perfect doesn’t have to be at the root of your value system in order for success and victory to present itself in your life.
Take time to clean your lenses every now and then as a way to re-evaluate for yourself if how you execute and deploy growth strategy (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) is still in line with your dream.
Know that when fear of reality moving you away from your dreams comes into the foreground — allow yourself sufficient space inside to stay grounded and decide for yourself if you need to put things to the side or stay vigilant with your dream.
Reality kicks us in the face constantly, you will get knocked down much in your life. Get back up because you can and you must.
In the end, what will help you with all of this (dreams, reality, being perfect) is learning to let sh*t go. Let go of religion and dogma that worked for you the past 7 years because your next 10 can suffer from it.
Let go of people who bring you down, who would rather see you suffer and lose than succeed and win in life. Let go of books and mentors who helped you from years 1–3 because now you’re on a different path and they cannot help you with your next 2–3 years.
With Love and Strength,
David Lee — The P.O.W.E.R Coach
I hope you enjoyed reading this rant, philosophical expression, psycho-something or other post!
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Thanks a bunch and follow me around on my journey as a Powerlifter, Yoga Teacher, Holistic Lifestyle Coach and Techie.