Learn to move on
Accepting defeat in any aspect of our lives can be a detriment to our Ego and pride. No one likes losing, the taste of it is sour and bitter. We would much rather inhale the fragrance of victory and triumph — a profound sensation that tingles our very nervous system.
Winning does so much of us, emotionally and energetically, it creates a euphoric presence that becomes an addiction. We only want more of it and for good reason.
The thing is, if life were exactly parallel with a video game then we could simply hit the reset button again and again until we win. No, life is not like a video game where we can choose to relive our moments. It’s the exact opposite. Whatever decisions you make you must live with and carry on, lingering in the past about your mistakes simply eats away at time that is nonjudgemental — time will always move forward with no bias.
What I wish to share with in this final part about “Being A Meaningful Specific” is to simply accept what is and to move forward from that place.
It’s about time that we as human beings stop allowing our Ego to be our masters, we must take control of our minds so that Ego becomes a beautiful servant when we need it. No relation to human slavery here, think more about it in technology terms — you have a Master and a Slave drive that work together but each have it’s own hierarchy of purpose and function.
How do you let go?
Beautiful question and it’s one of the hardest things to fathom let alone execute. I believe the root of the issue stems from too much programming at a young age where perfectionism and survival (aka financial security) take the lead.
When you’re brought up (as I was) to ensure that your education is the only thing that matters (that is predicated from immigrant parents), you have no choice but to win and win hard. Second place means a first place loser, ever hear that one? Well that’s what I heard from age 6 to about 25, that’s a long time to fully buy into the belief that winning is all that matters — there is no option for losing.
The trouble with that is what do you do when you lose? What happens to your psychological framework when you are defeated time and time again? You can take two avenues of approach:
1.) Learn from your mistakes and move on
2.) Beat yourself up over and over again
If you can embrace guiding principle #1, you’re off to a very healthy and fruitful future. If #2 has been beating you to the ground for the past 10 years, then you’re in for a rude awakening…
It’s not that you have to never try again, but what is required for your success and growth over time is that you learn to accept failure as it comes without judgement.
That alone can make the difference between you growing up and you growing old.
Maturity Means Responsibility
When you’ve come to know yourself through any means, whether that be moving meditation, breathing techniques, bioenergetics etc., you soon learn that in order for you to be a mature adult in an ever changing global economy you must adhere to the inherent nature of being responsible.
What I wish to share in that regard is it’s your sworn moral duty to take ownership and responsibility for all of your actions — victories and defeats. Where the trouble lies is when you lose all sense of wholeness with your spirit, by doing so you jeopardize the remainder of your life by verbally and emotionally abusing your own psyche.
If you can understand that all you need is to embrace the present moment while identifying where you want to be in the future, then that formula will bring about success in its own way, on its own time.
No longer will failure be a dreadful event for you, it will still sting but it won’t be a thorn in your side which you chose to never take out.
You will come to a crossroads where failure and success start to intertwine. When it does, embrace it — don’t hold back and dogmatically apply some universal rule that truly has no bearing on you becoming a more powerful version of yourself.
Just because something worked 5 years ago does not necessarily mean it will work today or 5 years from now. You have to try everything and experience all of your experiments.
Only then can you truly deploy self-mastery in your life.
Isn’t that why we’re all here?
With Love and Strength,
David Lee — The P.O.W.E.R Coach
I hope you enjoyed reading this rant, philosophical expression, psycho-something or other post!
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Thanks a bunch and follow me around on my journey as a Powerlifter, Yoga Teacher, Holistic Lifestyle Coach and Techie.